I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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