If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
