okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
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I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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