Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All the doctor said was why
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
