He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
