my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize