She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
