Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
