We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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