There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
