He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
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im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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