Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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