omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
that's an acceptable place to lick
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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