As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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