But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
