Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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