I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
