Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
