so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
