i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
