Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
no. you can't hotbox the world.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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