Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
