Swine flu. Run for my life!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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