Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
