it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
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I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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