I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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