Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
