so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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