i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
