oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
