i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
