I accidentally had phone sex last night
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
