this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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