got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
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He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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