Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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