Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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