you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
