do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
