I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
