The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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