it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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