dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
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and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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