can u get pink eye on your cock?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
