well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
