ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
