and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
