...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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