Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
