you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
