ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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