dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
