This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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