i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
