im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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