I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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