Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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