So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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