Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
where are my eyebrows?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
