How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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